I want to begin with the words of the Lord on this one.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. love never ends. as for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, ESV.) So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. (1 corinthians 13:13, ESV.)
So many different things are going on all around me and yet I feel as if I am frozen in the middle. Many relationships of all kinds are failing because we have become a very prideful world. We want everyone to conform to our ways and never see a different side. this is not what we were intended for. How will all the generations learn love when we can not show it ourselves?
I am sitting here in a vulnerable state. You see, I became a widow just over 3 years ago. I was so funnel focused that I did not see the other side of it. I didn’t see what my faults were. I only saw what wrong was being done to me, at least in my mind. I constantly stated that yes, I love you, but my actions proved otherwise. I thought well I know he loves me and as long as I don’t have to go out of my comfort zone, he can do what he wants. Funny thing is after his passing, everyone said: “he loved you so much, just hated your job”. I hated my job too but I didn’t see the bigger picture. I didn’t give my time or my complete love.
Fast forward to now. I am starring love in the face and still sitting in my old ways. But I am not afraid to tell my children that when your relationship breaks, you need to figure out what you are not doing right and fix it. Ah, hello, anyone home. Such words I speak but blocking them with my ability to ignore.
Last night, during a very pressing moment, I had an epiphany. All the reasons for fights and hurts and shame, I was not giving my full on love. I was blocking anything that I did not want to hear. I have been living in my own world wanting to be loved but not giving back. It is not fair to those on the receiving end. Why do they love and not get it back? Because they know how to love the right way. I want the man I love to feel real love from me. He deserves it. He gives his true love to me freely. Now, since I see my faults, it is time to fix it and show the love God has given to me, back to this man He has blessed me with.
Here is an idea. Look inside yourself for those things you hold so close and refuse to allow anyone else in that space. Take it out and share it. Do not allow the evil in shutting the door to happiness and the fullness of love that God has given to us. There are too many marriages broken and falling apart because our society is such me, me, me world. Be the bigger person, love those who love you, right where they are. Love them for who they are. Stop trying to change them to your ways. You fell into like with them and for whatever reason, you are a couple. Why try to make them you? Let them be who they are. Uplift their strengths and help them in their weaknesses.
I am so preaching to the choir because I have said these words a million times over and I refused to apply them. Well, no more. I am hoping and believing in love and God to change me inside and out for love. We were created in His image to be a light to others and show them the real love He has given. Mend the hurts which have taken up residence in your heart. Allow the love to flow and you will find the hurt will flee and happiness will show.
In a world full of Kardashians, be a Mary.
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