I am sure every parent had those thoughts of “I can not wait until they are all grown up and out of this home”. I will admit it. I do not think there is a number that high. It is not because we don’t love those precious faces we created, not at all. It is because they have the combined of their parent’s personalities, attitudes, anger, and love. When that mirror, in the form of your child, pops open. You see yourself and it just set your magnet straight to the top floor. As a mother, I totally understood how female animals can completely eat their young. Just at their saving moment, your gut kicks in and stops their demise. Then you see the eyes of their father looking right at you, those ones that connected you from the beginning. You stop dead in your tracks. Their survival skills have scored 100%.
Fast forward to the day of surprise is shared. A new branch of an already overgrown tree is forming. Nine very long months of waiting for this little soul to arrive. Not only do those creations get to feel that overwhelming feeling of new love, they never knew they had, kicks a field goal. Tears of sweet happiness flow like raging rivers. But here’s another view of this awe stopping event. Grandchildren!! In the words of the blessed Italian native tongue “nonna”, which we know as “nana” in our world. Again, God shows you yet another form of love. Love so deep and so pure that every memory of those little mirrors looking at your rage, forgotten. You suddenly feel as if your whole purpose in life was to see, feel, touch, kiss, hug, teach, lead, and mostly love this miracle.
I have been through things with each of my children. Now they are all in the adulthood I see their uniqueness. Their beliefs, views, conflicts they were taught shining bright. And still learning daily. I am still learning daily. Yes, their pain still breaks my heart. The mother in me would rather take on the worst pain in the world. Making it last for all eternity than to see any of them endure any type of pain. But pain is what taught me my love choices. I can see the new love in them. I can not wait until they feel this brand new love, I felt when they too become a “nonno or nonna”. I want the biggest, overgrown but never dying tree to flourish. And It Will.