I Am The Fixer

Have you ever looked inside yourself to see what your true potential is regarding everyone else in your world? During the hardest times, I have tried to find myself. I wondered what is it that makes me tick. What is it I look for in others and why? I will admit, it has been a very traumatic experience due to wanting to feel that happiness which surrounds me at every point in time. So what is really the issue with me?

After a couple of bad relationships, adding a few new friendships, as well as talking to a few who knows me inside and out, I am a fixer. Yes, I finally admit it. I like to fix others. I like to show them the view from my eyes. Help them reach their full potential. Sadly, this had to lead me down roads with trenches so deep, I had slipped into them many times. When I reach up, I find no hand around. I had to decide if this is the world I want to be a part of.

Yes, it is. After a lot of reflecting on what happiness means and the value of real love, I want to see the joy in others where I have helped them overcome the obstacles they view as their ending marks. I want to fill my soul with the mindset of knowing I was a difference that helps them push forward with not a handout, but a hand up. A big piece of the puzzle many passes by every second of their life.

As I look back through my life, I can see I have always been a fixer in some way or form. I had always looked at it as weakness. I felt so miserable watching others find their joy and thinking what about me. When really, I was a big part of their light coming thru. I had seen the value where others only have seen the failures and disappointments. Chalking these people as lost causes. Using the judgment of their mistakes as a final call for a finished life. So not the truth.

You see, when I meet a broken soul, I look for the tiny glimmer of light and attach myself to that point in time. So many times our failures rule our lives and everyone will show you exactly what you are doing wrong, not many are willing to show you what you are worth and what you are doing right. Granted, some are beyond the point and love their despair and refuse to fix the issues, most are not. Those are the ones I seem to find a lot.

So even though I have my times of hurt and darkness, those mini lights are the very moments that bring me to the forefront of what my purpose is in this life. I am learning my happiness is found within myself and helping to fix others in ways no one else would, is the very seed of what real true love is supposed to be. It is being the one true person when the corner smacks them in your face. I am embracing my gifts and finding all the shining stars that have not yet faded.

 RES

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