Theme Of My Amazing Life

I hear the words of the songs and my heart tears a bit. It is either a memory of times gone by or future dreams of times yet to come. Only a few will hold the presence of the now. That needs to be the sounds taking a hold of my ear. I need those sounds to guide me to the music of life filling the air with inspirations of happiness and love like none have ever felt. A pureness wanting to share with anyone who will listen. Oh, the wind blows and the notes flow across their hearts the way it touches mine.

I have crossed major floods and cleared mountain tops to find that sweet harmony that has brought me right here. Leaving me in a gentleness breeze with constant flowing wonders of which path to venture onto next. Yet it is funny how life will still throw an off tune effect here and there. Sometimes I do drop a tear for the life I had traveled on. The sites I had to endure tied into the joys of occasions that light up my world. Lifetime experiences which line the walls of my heart with rays of songs for each face the memory holds. A strand of blessings connecting the strings to the guitars of my universe. I do hear the drums that beat hard sending sorrow into motion like a hurricane of thoughts but I am soon hearing the sounds of the lights for the times I was blessed with.

In my world and life of music, I find how lost I can get in my own mind. It becomes a walk of different times of my life. I do realize how different this little bit of me is taking in different steps, but I write as I go and in the moment. I see and feel so much through the sound of songs and words to where my heart has learned to take it in and purge it out all at once. It has become a healing vise for me. A way to work through myself. A tool to stay on course, steading and forward because as times in the not so distant past I have failed. I wandered out of my own lines. I took the lead vocals and killed the sound in my own spirit. I broke.

And just like that, the sound was gone. Sending me back onto the path I was supposed to follow. The chorus came on and I heard the familiar sounds I had tucked away for moments where I slip on that slope of destruction, ropes pull tight and the harmonies begin to flow just right once again. The notes of happiness have appeared into my soul as if never left bringing nothing but joys of blessings. There is that smile, that hope, that faith I had long forgotten about. The forgiveness is much deeper when the meaning is found in a note being carried away in the sounds of memories of healing the scars.

Each day and new sound brings me to another level in life. One that is freeing inside and allowing all the inspirational tunes into a view I had never seen quite that way before. Every now and then a whistle will hit the right Soundwave and bring a tear to my eye but the daggers don’t cut as deep as they did before. In fact, they sometimes bring the noise of a giggle deep down making my soul smile so bright. New sounds are beginning to reach those levels and build mini rays of light, a feeling I have a long time relationship with and time to dance under the stars to the theme of my amazing life.



Just Listen

I often wondered what the beauty of sound really was about. Being so many different lyrics can motivate me beyond belief. Funny thing is I did not realize it until the words caused a tear in my heart. The beginning beats would send my emotions into a tailspin. Stopping the bile was very hard to do. Some how these different degrees of life brought me into a different love of music of all kinds.

Words giving me reflections of a better place and time. It is really a mind boggling experience to think you can pull up a memory with just the choice of an artist. The rewind of time sucks me into an experience I had once thought long gone. Now on demand for reflections of how I reached this point in life.

Of course, there are moments the glorious rays were very dim. Those hurt like hell but somehow during the pits of grayness, the lyrics speak volumes. Once I am at the point I need to vent out, it is a matter of which one call pull it off like a bandaid. I turn on the sound, release the fumes.

I know there are so many out there like me. I just wondered when they hit the ah ha moment of seeing the words form into a light of the understanding of that person’s life. Kind of like a biography, yet giving you a maze of emotions to guide your ear for more. Or maybe, just maybe one day, I will feel the song that completes my connection. To me, songs are always pulling on my heart strings. It seems to be which one tugs hardest becomes today’s winner.

Hear the music playing? Guess my mood?

Don’t you just love the sound of over the top loud music where you are bellowing out to your favorite song, ignoring anyone within the sound of you? Does it not fill your complete being of such comfort to release any minor to any major mood you are swimming in right at that divine moment? Does it give you the control to either stay put digging in deeper or go the opposite and relive all of it at once? I guarantee I am not on a solo here, way more musical moods out there.

Long, long ago as a very young girl, my love for music had already been sown deep down in my soul.  A passion so strong I just knew I was going to be a singing sensation of a lifetime. Then I woke up, shy girls stay quiet, well in front of crowds.  I tend to lock myself in my big size boxes of rooms or vehicles, killing every sound of noise beyond earshot with my mood of choice. And 9 times out of 10 I will be trying my best to over sing that amazing voice of Carrie Underwood. Then I get distracted with either a look of “mmmm could you possibly turn it down so I can breathe?” Or my favorite, those who choose to join in as I refer to my backup singers, knowing fully well they are competing for my spotlight. Not to leave out my favorites were the ones who stood in the background without my knowledge and just listen, melt my heart.

Of course, you can see a little snippet of history there but I have to add I was not always so free ranged in music or so I thought.  I did not realize how deeply rooted the musical choice I made due to where exactly my emotions lay within that very second. Teenage years, I was the loved all the 80’s junky until “Big Hair” took over, then add a boyfriend who is a country boy from Hank Jr.s “Rowdy friends”, who also chose to introduce me to the “Buttermilk Biscuits” world of rap. Yes, I was a bit confused but I felt that twist in my gut when all the different sounds began to tie into emotions. Boy did I start to broaden my horizons. See at that time, I did like my traveling with my aunt music. I mean who doesn’t like Alabama, “ROLL ON”.

Many ages later, some of those same familiar road maps have added a complete 3 generations of musical bliss in every vehicle. Adding to the long list of musical moods such as sounds of “Jack and Diane” with Mellencamp in his “Pink houses” to Gnash declaring the “I Love You, I Hate You” issues coming on board. Traveling necessities include a mandatory sidekick DJ. Unlike my younger days on the road with my aunt, I picked up and raised mine with my daddy’s ways of “it’s loud because I say so”, mentality. I am honored to say I have passed on the torch. 

Now I am in grandparent stage of life where “no, I do not want to build a flipping snowman”. I want to teach you to carry on the tradition of singing your full heart out. I want you to learn to show off your musical moods with pride. Funny how a 2-year-old can pick up on this notion. Little head starts to bob, foot shaking, and he’s off dancing as a little youngin can, and right then I am in grandma love land and we got ballads of Mariah Carey playing in the background. Ok, so I do play a little into their world of Disney’s magical music, I have to show them young a multitude of music genre.

Every life lesson, memory, and experience have a musical memory connected to my heart. It is my stress reliever, mood booster, deep down hardcore let out all the anger bellowing songs I can reach my center core. This sweet release has been my life partner since the first time my papa sang my favorite hymn to date “When sings my soul, my savior God to thee, How great thou art, How great thou art” to the sweet voice of Tim McGraw because truly “The highway don’t care” to Bruno Mars helping Mark Ronson getting everyone to watch the “Uptown Funk” and we are with DJ Snake when he questions”Turn down for what” because there is no such thing as too loud.

At this point of the chorus, I am sure you realize I am a musical mood inclined singer from way back. I do not plan on changing this factor of my soul. By now, those who do not understand, need to grab some tunes and sing because it’s a wave a life you do not want to miss. To all my fellow bellows out there, let’s continue to teach all the array of music genre from past, present, and future to all the generations to come. Because truly without every area of music, sounds would be just plain boring. Sing loud, sing proud and let the musical mood torch carry on.