On life’s journey, I have many times where I thought I wanted to check out. As another year ends, I pondered on my life from a full 365 days view. Let me tell you, I am very proud of where I am right now.
You see the beginning of 2017, I was so deep in self-pity, I could not see the fullness of myself because I allowed the clouds to rain down on me. I thought all my of mistakes were my final destination until the moment I realized I either sit in the mess and wallow forever. Or I wake up and learn the lessons and what I am not doing to change them. Life had slapped me in the face. I woke up.
I realized my potential lies in my own belief of who I really am. It was not about who I was or who I wanted to be. It was about being the person who longed to be seen in the face of a world full of negativity. I didn’t want to be conformed to that pain. I wanted to learn how to walk beside the painful situations, grab the hands and pull them into a positive light where despair made hope feel so far away.
This did not come easy. Many storms raged within me and so many tears shed with thoughts of quitting but I was on a determined mindset. I will see these changes as my blessings. Believe me, the transition was not a pleasant one. I had moments where I wanted to retreat but I decided those were the times I had to push harder and stronger.
I reached the top of my hurdle, I found the highlights to keep me red zoning forward. Life was not going to rip me apart anymore. I will have my bumps in the road but I will put it in four-wheel drive, bog down and keep going. I look for the sparkles in my future and realize I am living for the now. I am going to do everything with a positive view.
As the new year has just begun, I feel so happy with how far I have come. Seems like so much time was in pain but to be on the shinier side of things is really helping me see all the blessings I have always had and the new ones who appeared at the right time. I will now view that changes are blessings. Some will be just clearer to see up front, the others will teach me the values.